Somebody hand this girl a toothbrush...

'There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.'

Whoever said this (was it Winston Churchill or is the internet lying to me again? I haven't trusted the internet since I started university many years ago now and was warned that Wikipedia wasn't a valid source. Turns out, they were right) had it so very, very right. Any week that is paid holiday can be counted as a good week, but even during the nice times it's still lovely to have a four-legged beast like Madge...

Gosh, I am a proud and noble looking beast. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I WAS NAUGHTY TONIGHT? I CAN STILL HAVE A CARROT RIGHT?

I am fabulously witty too. See, you're all laughing.

 

Wait a minute...YOU! YOU THERE! Empty your pockets and prove there's nothing edible in them!

DO NOT BELIEVE YOU. SHOW ME THE CARROTS!

 

What do you mean, have I ever heard of Colgate? I have someone to do that for me!

 

Maybe if I keep doing this, they'll hurry up and give me my tea...

 

You on the other side of this wall! Share your carrots?

I've had enough now. There's a wisp of hay on this door that amuses me far more than you do, lady with phone stuck to her hand.

 

You know, I have things of so much substance that I could post here, but sometimes I just like to post pictures of my crazy (and slightly naughty) beast and marvel at just how happy she makes me.

All I want for Christmas...

I know it's hard to believe, but every now and again I do occasionally want the odd thing for Christmas that doesn't involve horses in the slightest. It's the horse things that tend to be the most exciting however, because who wants to hear about that DVD I wouldn't mind watching along with 13,456,239 other people in the country on Christmas day? I often ask for something like a new hat or new boots and chaps with not a lot else, but after a significantly more horse-filled year than the couple before it, I've found my list has grown quite substantially. My parents, brother and close friends literally live in fear.

Half Chaps

I am far too embarrassed by the state of my chaps to display them on here, but needless to say I strongly suspect they will soon get up and walk out the door themselves, or just fall apart at the sight of another horse. I've had them for a good four years and although I don't ride all that often (once a week most of the time), it's still often enough for them to be covered in all kinds of interesting things (mainly thanks to Magic). My bigger-than-average calves limit me and I find it hard to get a pair that fits well, which makes me even more reluctant to go chap shopping, but in a perfect world I would wake up on Christmas morning to find a brand spanking new pair that fit just right (and somehow make the calves look a little smaller too, or is that just being greedy?).

Short riding boots

Old school I know, but I literally can't think of anything comfier to ride in than a pair of these with half chaps. When I first started riding it was all the rage to wear just jodhpur boots, but having seen the state of the inside of my chaps, I can't imagine how my leg took the wear and tear back then! Then things progressed onto the long riding boot, but since getting back into these bad boys I only have dim and distant memories of how restrictive long riding boots really are. My ankle can flex and turn! My giant calves aren't stuffed into boots that cut off blood supply to my feet!

Muffler

Because my long hair can only keep my ears so warm. Because it's Joules, and Joules is awesome. But mostly because it's called a muffler - nothing that is called a muffler can be considered a bad present.

Personalised phone case

This has been on my shopping list for months now, and I still haven't gotten around to buying it. I love my iPhone, I can't remember what I did without it. I also love Magic (even more than my phone, incidentally). Why wouldn't I want to combine the two?
(this is from a website a friend recommended to me, Bags Of Love. I will be ordering this case very soon, I WILL)

 Magazine subscription

Okay, so this is a bit of a cheat, as I already subscribe to this magazine, but renewing this subscription would made me very, very happy. And to be fair, this is probably the one thing off this incredibly ambitious list that I will receive. And it will make me very, very happy. I like to buy Horse and Hound every week but find that I end up flicking through the bits I'm not very interested in (cough, racing), whereas I read Your Horse cover to cover and enjoy every one. In fact, if Your Horse wants to start going fortnightly, that'd be great thanks...

Magic

There was literally no way on this earth I was going to write a Christmas list without putting Magic on it. Just in case Father Christmas is reading, you know. I might be in my twenties but asking for a pony for Christmas will never get old.

Blog: When real life gets in the way of being an overgrown pony kid

Between getting a promotion and my close friend having her baby early, I have had almost no time over the past fortnight to fit in more than six hours' sleep a night, never mind continue to mastermind how to buy Magic and find a way to fit her in my back garden in true pony kid style! I do hate it when mundane things such as work get in the way of my beloved horses but gaining a new godson is never a bad thing, he is absolutely beautiful.

The good thing about the promotion (aka let's increase your workload three-fold!) is that it moves me that much closer to perhaps one day getting my hands on my own horse to make my inner pony kid explode with excitement...

Magic in full-on donkey mode

Blog: Head vs heart

I will lay this on the table right now - I am a little closer to thirty than I'd care to admit in an online blog, and I have never owned a horse, despite having ridden since the age of twelve.

As a teenager, I had as many lessons as I could, helped out at my stables, even had a horse on part-loan for three years, but I've never been in a position to own my own through a combination of school, university and now a full-time job with varying hours. I come from a non-horsey family, and my dad in particular thinks I should be saving for a deposit to buy a house and stick to my weekly riding lessons.

The problem is that whilst my head agrees with him, my heart is screaming at me 'BUY A HORSE! That's what'll make you happy!', and whilst it has made some dodgy judgements over the years, this time I have the funniest feeling that it's right. I have just come through to the other side of a very rough patch in my life, and the one thing that kept me going some weeks is the beloved pony that I ride at my stables. I occasionally get laughed at at work when I say this, because I sound more like a horse-mad teenager than a grown woman, but it's the truth.

So now I'm in a position where I could make a choice, and everything feels so up in the air. I should be saving up for a house deposit, but is it really a viable option right now? If I bought a horse, could I forego all of the ridiculous things I currently waste my money on (for instance, I spent £15 on some shampoo today. Shampoo! If I don't wake up in the morning with hair to rival Jennifer Aniston then I'm off for a refund) and the occasional shopping trip to look after a horse? And could I really afford all of the unforeseen costs that horses inevitably bring with them?

I had a thought, a reasonably sensible one as well. I considered asking the owner of my riding school if I would be able to take Magic, the pony I ride, on loan for six months to see if I could manage the costs without tying myself down. The downside is that even working livery at my stables costs £80 a week (although that includes the horse being fully looked after, feed and bedding), but on the upside, if I struggle financially, I could hand her back at any time without worrying that I am harming her welfare in any way. At twenty two years old and considering her complete refusal to get in a horsebox, even while alarmingly highly sedated, it's unrealistic to believe that Magic is the horse I should buy to get many years of enjoyment out of, but is loaning her not the next best option? I trust her implicitly, I know her quirks, and after five years of riding her I know I am both capable of doing it and still enjoying it.

My other worry is that I wouldn't have the time to do her justice if I did take her on loan, but I suppose the joy of keeping her on working livery is that she would still be getting worked if I did have to work late for any reason. Oh, I don't know. This seems the most sensible option to me, but life is never that simple, is it? I knew a lot of stable management when I was younger, but I've forgotten much past the basics nowadays. I suppose that livery option would give me the chance to relearn it all, and let's face it, as long as the piggy fat mare has a rug on her back and some food in her stable, she's pretty content.

My dad would absolutely kill me, though...